This week and last has been a world of changes. It has been a whirlwind of firsts and lasts all at the same time. My daughter started kindergarten last week. They went one day to “phase in” and then they started together with everybody this week. It was my little girl’s first time to ride a school bus, the first time to ride anywhere without a known adult. It was the first time she carried a backpack and ate in the cafeteria. It was the first time she missed her stop on the way home on the bus. (Long story!) So…many…changes. I find myself overwhelmed with the changes and the speed at which things are changing. You know it’s coming; I’ve known for five years, but it seems there is never enough time to prepare.
Her first day was not as I expected it to go, nor, I believe, how she expected it to go. The morning started with her being too tired to wake up (not a new problem). This then spiraled into they typical, defiant, power control, mommy versus daughter morning ending with both of us crying. I had to tear myself away from her new kindergarten class, all while trying to hold down my personal meltdown til I arrived to my car, to which I succumbed to the verging cascade of tears. Yes, I know how dramatic this sounds. What is a story without a little drama? Lest you worry about my mini me, she was fine as soon as I left.
To end this momentous first day of kindergarten, I arrived twelve minutes late to pick her up and completely missed the car line. All ended well with her excitedly telling me about her day.
Somewhere amidst all the morning drama, I began to come down really hard on myself. I start criticizing myself and talking down to myself. Saying things, such as the following: I should have handled that better. I should have been more understanding. I should have done this; I should have done that. I’m completely behind on any resemblance of cleaning (which is not all that new, except it does always seems more daunting the more stress you are under sprials into being mean to yourself). All this brings me to my point of giving yourself grace! Yes, grace. That powerful, yet seemingly unobtainable word. GRACE.
What is grace, you ask? Well, Google defines it as: “courteous goodwill; free and unmerited favor of God; the condition or fact of being favored by someone.”
Do yourself a “favor” and extend some good will to yourself. Let your body rest. Savor the moments of firsts and lasts. You will do nobody any favors by criticizing yourself and in fact, in my case, many times , it spills over and effects the others in my life. I tend to be kind of cranky and withdrawn when I do not give myself grace.
One of the stories I think of when I hear the word grace, is the story of Mary and Martha and Jesus. (Luke 10:38-42) You may know the story, but if you don’t, let me summarize for you:
Jesus, friend of Mary and Martha’s is coming for a visit. Martha is busy cleaning and cooking and whatever else you did when expecting company in those times, while Mary sits at Jesus’s feet. This just incenses Martha (I can relate), and she complains, to which Jesus responds that Mary is where she needs to be, at the Savior’s feet.
Isn’t that where we need to be? At the Savior’s feet, because only by His grace, can we even know what grace is.
Grace to you always and thanks for reading! If you think this post will remind someone you care about, to be gracious, please share!
P.S. Check out this song I just found about grace! Love it! It made me smile and I hope it does for you too!
I also love this book when I’m feeling down, which I’ve had forever. It always makes me smile!