Self Doubt: It plagues so many of us. It blocks us from achieving our dreams. Sometimes it even blocks us from standing up for ourselves, our children, our friends, and our families.
One of the main fear archetypes is, you guessed it, Self Doubt. It is actually one of the most common. How many of you can relate?
I know I can relate. Many of the thoughts in my head are related to self doubt. I am not capable enough. I am not adequate enough. Who am I that anybody should listen to me? I’ve never done this or that. I would not even know where to begin. I am not enough.
“Don’t be scared to walk alone. Don’t be scared to like it.”John Mayer
One of my all time favorite children’s books (and yes, I know I say that a lot, but there are so many good ones!) is Jonathan James and the Whatif Monster.*
In the story, Jonathan James, a young boy, has a Whatif monster* telling him he can’t do things like climb a tree or run fast enough. Common things that plague our children and let’s be honest, still plague many of us. In the end, Jonathan James* has to demand the monster to stop filling his head with worries and doubt. For a full story telling from the author herself, go here!
Now wait just a minute! I have something to say, after hearing ‘what ifs’ all through the day. I hear all your worries; I hear all your claims. But what if you’re wrong?”Jonathan James and the Whatif Monster, Michelle Nelson-Schmidt*
It is all about our mindset, if we fill our heads with worry and doubt, then of course that is what is going to happen.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy– think about such things.Philippians 4:8
Here’s the thing: You never know unless you try. Don’t we tell our kids the very same thing? They are watching you closer than you think. Do you think they are going to listen to your actions or your words more?
What if you do fall? What if it is a no? The answer is always no unless you ask. More people are filled with regret that they did not try then when they did go out on a limb, even if the limb cracked or it was not the right tree for them.
The other day, I was reading in Acts 3 where the lame man is healed by Peter and John. “Look at us!” it says. The lame man, expecting to be given money, does just what they demand, but what he gets is more than he could ever ask or imagine.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.Ephesians 3:20
Part of my self doubt comes from fear. What if my dreams come true, but I can’t handle it? Or worse yet, it is no longer what I want.
But you see, I know I will live in regret if I do not try. That is not something I can live with. I know you need to hear these words too.
One of my reasons for starting this business is I don’t want my daughter to live in self doubt. I want her to dream big and not limit herself by her own self-limiting beliefs.
When I doubt myself, am I doubting God? Am I doubting his words that he will give all we can ask or imagine? In the words of Jan Silvious, do I trust him enough to say “Yes, Lord” when I hear his calling.
Song writers like Zach Williams, inspire us when we doubt. According to Zach Williams’ story, when he finally stopped worrying and gave up his life to God, that is when he received more than he could ever imagine.
Just like the lame man from our story above and Zach Williams’ story, our limitations of ourselves is often so small.
Can you believe my beautiful,intelligent six year old daughter already thinks she isn’t smart?! She thinks she’s pretty, but not smart. That blows my mind! Part of her self doubt comes from the fact that she is my perfection child and she wants to do things right the first time and less to do with extrinsic forces (although with the start of school I’m sure those exist as well), but I never thought she would have to deal with self- doubt at such a young age.
What if instead of limiting ourselves, we dared to kick those nagging self doubt monsters out?
Get out of your own head! You have to find what works for you. Because the absolutely wonderful thing about human nature is that we are all uniquely different and wonderful.
However, we can and should learn from each other and sometimes you just need a little kick-start. Here are six ways that have worked for me or friends. I hope one will work for you and help you be inspired. Trust me, I still struggle, especially with starting this website.
Six Ways to Kick Self-Doubt Out of Your Head!
- Actually say out loud, Get Out of My Head! There’s something to say for affirmations.
- Call somebody! Sometimes all I need is to talk it out with a friend.
- Listen to an encouraging podcast. Ruth Soukup’s Do it Scared Podcast is one of my favorites.
- Do something active. Nothing clears your head like a good run/hike/swim, etc… Even just stepping on your back porch and doing some jumping jacks can do wonders.
- Journaling. Whether it is just for you or you share it, just writing things down helps you look at things more objectively and helps get those worry monsters out of your head. I always love items that Dayspring offers, or I found some of these on Amazon**, which I thought looked beautiful.
- Make a plan and write it down. Baby steps. The wall of china was not built in one day. Wars are not won overnight. Focus on what you can do now. Personally, I have two kids, I work part-time. I don’t have a bunch of “fringe” time. Some days I may only get to work on my business for thirty minutes, but each step gets you closer to your dreams and helps you kick out the self doubts. Fake it til you make it does ring true sometimes.
If you feel self-doubt creeping in, take it one step at a time. Before you know it, you may find that you will be on the top of the mountain.
What steps have you found help you get our of your own head? Can you add to my list?
Oh the places you’ll go, Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So…Get on your way!Dr. Seuss**
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